You Call Them Trust Issues, But I Call Them Excuses
It seems like everyone in today’s generation has some form of trust issues. People take pride in not catching feelings, in falling back, and situationships. They take pride in side chicks, cheating, and having a “team” full of potential people to date. One agenda which seems to be common is, to play the other person before they can play you. Everyone is breaking up while no one is falling in love. People would rather glorify situationships than real authentic relationships. It may seem like it’s all fun and games now, but no one wants to be 40 and alone, with no one to build with.
I blame Drake for this epidemic. He has y’all thinking that sh** is cute, when in actuality it’s not. Y’all have to stop claiming you have trust issues. Get over yourself and get over those excuses because everyone needs some form of love. Your friends, family, and children can't replace the kind of love you’ll get from your significant other. Love is a beautiful thing when given to the right person. But before you try to fill your voids with useless things and people, do some soul searching. Let’s talk about the REAL reasons you have “trust issues” and aren't ready for a relationship.
What you really mean to say is, someone broke your heart and you haven’t quite got over it yet. You may have thought you moved on, but not so much if something from your past keeps you from pursuing a new relationship. You haven’t quite healed, nor have you fully moved on from the pain you once experienced. Your thoughts and feelings keep you replaying that exact pain and disappointment over and over again. Ask yourself “Why am I letting something from my past dictate what I’m going to do with someone in the future?”
You haven’t learned how to accept the fact that your heart will be broken. It hurts, and it sucks, but it’s life. We’ve all felt pain so bad, we wouldn’t wish it on our worst enemy. Depression from a heartbreak is real, but I bet that heartbreak taught you some valuable lessons. You learned something new, and came out a better person I hope. To say you have trust issues means you don’t know how to bounce back and pick up the pieces. Once you’ve reached total forgiveness, you’ll no longer harbor hate, anger, anxiety, or resentment in your heart.
It’s really a disclaimer to the next person who approaches you to be careful with your heart. You want this person to be gentle with your soul, and to not play with your emotions. This tells me you love hard. You want someone to love you as hard, if not more, and to be all about you. It tells me when you’re serious about someone, you go in full force. Don’t change any of that, in fact, embrace it.
You can’t keep using this an excuse to keep people from breaking down the wall you’re attempting to build up. To say “I have trust issues” basically means “I’m emotionally unavailable, and I can’t offer anything to you right now.” It means you’re either too scared to love again, or too scared to get close to anyone. You need to take a risk on yourself again, and stop pushing people away. Take caution, but choose wisely. Be observant, and pay attention the signs and actions of other people. Believe their true colors when you see it.
Instead of being in your feelings, think rational. As much as you hate to admit, you probably shouldn't have been with that person from jump. If someone can mess you up the way they did, then it was never love to begin with. Knowing when to leave has to be one of the most important lesson to understand. Learn to accept things for what they are instead of what you want them to be.
Let’s close with a quote I saw on Instagram, “What you don’t heal in your singleness, will spread like a disease in your togetherness.”